Wednesday, December 25, 2019
In Silence I discovered that there is no silence, but there can be peace. Every artificial, mechanical thing in my house I unplugged. I sat in the glider and just listened. The rain sounded against the tin roof on my trailer. Tempo changed from fast to slow, from strong to light but it was not silent. Once the pitter patter above stopped and let the day stretch, the frogs began a choir in the puddles and the birds harmonized with them in the bushes. An occasional passing train would scrap past on the tracks. The metal wheels rubbing down the metal tracks like the sensation of steel wool chiseling the rust off the handle bars. One sound lead to the recognition of yet another that had already reverberating in my memory. The bowl nestled inside the Stainless steel mixing bowl was catching the drops from the leaking roof, resonating a whimsical tone against the crystal glass. Even the gliding rocker wasn’t quiet. It creaked with the shift of weight forward and back until even the floorboard would release its occasional note telling me it was there as well.
The key in the front door lock interrupted the symphony and the human trying to still the slosh of soggy clogs across the room floor. There was a short conversation that ended in whimpering gasp of breath in disbelief. Who knew eyelashes made sound when the heart of a man breaks open. Only then silence exists, every other decibel was blocked. I heard the gulp when I told him “No More”. The nostrils whistled a hush when he held his breath to try to believe it wasn’t the end. Every nerve hyper anticipated the verbal response and shut down all communication. My head kept telling me Pay attention but my heart had already decided when it was contemplating silence.
“There is a voice that does not use words…… Listen,” Says Rumi
More days appreciating what lies within the Silence and I will achieve what had been lacking- Courage to be whole on my own.